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The Conspiracy Mentality
01 - My Transformation
I got into conspiracy theories through stories of government deception. False flag operations and coups to overthrow governments by the CIA. From there, it was a natural progression to learning about the Bilderburgs, the Illuminati, and so on.
Through this time, I gained a sense that I was waking up to the real world, that this entire landscape of deception and manipulation was happening all over the world, in secret, and happening to me. The more I looked for it, the more I found. It was happening in plain sight.
I became skeptical of anything and everything my government told me. This slowly turned into a rejection of the concept of authority and the openness and acceptance of more alternative and underground thinking.
It wasn't just my ideals and opinions changing, but my outlook on information, intentions, and confidence that I knew what was really going on. Each conspiracy I learned of seemed to validate all the others, and they built on themselves, strengthening a resolve that the world is run by nefarious elites and that the only way we can resist, is to reject their and any authority.
It wasn't just my ideals but my entire outlook. My mentality changed. I was absolutely convinced that I was right. Adamant, and unshakable in my belief that everything happened for a reason, there were no coincidences and that everything was controlled by design, and that anyone who didn't think so, just hasn't been enlightened yet. Furthermore, it was my responsibility as someone who has seen the truth to spread that around and help others step out of line and rebel against the mental cages they've been brainwashed by.
It happened gradually. I entered many debates with people who argued against me. The same people in fact. Some people made fun of me like I was stupid, which only solidified my belief that they were so brainwashed that there was no hope for them. I had pride in knowing the truth against such overwhelming opposition. I was the underdog but I wasn't giving up.
There were people in particular who kept questioning the information I presented. This was a weird concept to me because my evidence was airtight. I had so many videos of people exposing the lies, so many videos of conspiracy documentaries and articles proving that the established mainstream narrative didn't add up and was full of holes.
Still, they kept challenging me, over and over, but without hostility. It was always calm. I learned a lot from someone in particular called Alex. He challenged everything I claimed, came back with his own evidence, even questioned how I processed information. He infuriated me. Whole-heartedly, I absolutely hated him sometimes.
I came close to blocking him a few times, but I didn't, because if I did, he would win. If anything, I was going to prove I was in the right, and if I blocked him, I would be admitting defeat. That wasn't an option.
I remember it very clearly. I was debating Alex on chemtrails. I walk out and see chemtrails, there are so many whistle-blowers. I can see it, it's right there. How is this not considered a thing? Seriously? I was arguing that contrails (condensation trails) left by aircraft cannot expand into a cloud. It's all geo-engineering. Atmospheric seeding. It's documented. Look it up. There's so much information out there.
He was arguing that no, it's entirely possible, and to check the science. I wasn't having any of it. We had a HUGE thread on Facebook which ended I think in me being a mix of angry, frustrated, and confused. Just before it ended, a friend of mine jumped in with some evidence of spraying tanks used to hold the chemicals and had photographic proof. Now, I knew this wasn't true because it was in to simulate moving passengers in-flight testing. It took me back a moment, and I thought to myself, "am I doing this, too?".
On a whim, just to prove him wrong, I decided to look at the science of contrails. This is something I hadn't done at all up until this point. To my surprise, and my disappointment, persistent contrails are entirely possible. I learned the conditions needed to create persistent contrails, and then like a ton of bricks it hit me: Every video I had to prove this from aircraft suddenly had a second explanation. I got hit even harder by the realisiation: I could be very wrong on chemtrails... and if this is wrong, what else is wrong? What other conspiracies I was equally adamant I was right on is incorrect? The house of cards came tumbling down.
I stopped posting conspiracy videos. I had a major blow to my sense of self-importance. This whole time I've been arguing something that was this easy to debunk? I adamantly argued with incorrect evidence. Was this even evidence? I took a step back and took a moment to consider the possibility that I actually don't know anything. Not chemtrails, everything. I re-evaluated everything I thought I knew.
I looked into the alternative: the counter-evidence for the conspiracies I believed in. I used to LOVE ancient aliens. Then I watched a 3-hour video debunking absolutely every claim made in the series, exposing the lies and deception of these apparent truth seekers to sell their theories and by extension, sell books.
Was I being fooled? Or are they the same as me? Thinking they're doing the right thing but have the mentality I did? Were they shut off to authority, and as such making up their own truth? One by one, every conspiracy theory suffered the same outcome. Some held an element of truth, but none were absolutely correct. Everything shattered.
The tag line of this website isn't just some gimmick. This was the moment I woke up from waking up.
The next page goes into how I felt then, and how I feel now. The psychology behind conspiracies.